|
Holistic Health Newsletter!
Subscribe
 Natural Weight Loss
Program recommended by The Share Guide
Learn More
About
Share Guide
Holistic Health Articles
Health Directory
Reviews
Advertise
Links
Contact us
Do
you have a
Holistic
Business?
Get listed in Share
Guide's Holistic Health
Directory for only $9.95 per
month. For more info Click Here
|
The Share Guide:
Geneen, you've written that diets don't work for people with emotional
issues around food. Can you explain?
Geneen
Roth: When people turn to food and they're not physically
hungry, it means that they're using food for something else besides
satisfying the needs of the body. They're using it for a different kind
of hunger--an emotional hunger, a psychological hunger, or a spiritual
hunger. So when food is used for reasons other than physical hunger,
it's basically used as a drug of choice. It's used to take the edge
off, to avoid, numb, distract, comfort, relieve something that we feel
we can't tolerate.
The Share Guide:
What do you think about using food as a reward, like after a hard day?
Geneen
Roth:
It's fine if you're not an emotional eater. I think everybody uses food
at some point as a treat or a celebration. But my work is not about
that. It's very, very different. I'm talking about when food becomes
the focus of your life. When your weight, or what you're doing with
food, how much you eat, what you're going to eat, when you're going to
eat it, what you're allowed to eat, what you're not allowed to eat,
what you should eat, what you shouldn't eat, and your entire sense of
self-worth, gets tied up with what you eat and how much you weigh.
That's a really different issue--a whole different dimension than using
food as an occasional treat.
As
you get older and as you gain a couple of pounds
you might want to say to yourself, "Oh, I think I need to be more
mindful of what I'm eating." That's different than the people whose
days revolve around what they eat. We're basically talking about people
for whom, the size of my body and the size of my life are the same. Who
I am is what I weigh.
The Share Guide:
We know so much more about nutrition now than we did 20 years ago, yet
more people are obese than ever before. What do you think is the main
cause of this?
Geneen
Roth:
I think it's more evidence of what I've been saying for the last 20
years, which is that people eat for emotional, psychological, and
spiritual reasons. And unless and until that is recognized, then the
obesity statistics will continue to rise.
The Share Guide:
How widespread is the problem of compulsive eating? And is it mainly
women who suffer from it or do men suffer too?
Geneen
Roth:
I certainly get letters from men who say that they're suffering from
it. But I think women's bodies are more objectified in this culture, so
I think it becomes more of a problem for women because the size of our
bodies becomes the central focus in our lives. We're often defined (and
define ourselves) by the size of our bodies and how we look. When
anything has that kind of focus in the culture--in your environment, in
your family, and in your life--it becomes the center of your attention.
The Share Guide:
Some experts say that if you've struggled with compulsive eating, the
only solution is to avoid your trigger foods completely, and practice
abstinence. But from your books it doesn't seem like you agree with
this.
Geneen
Roth:
On one level that would be a fine approach, except that you'd walk
around frightened of yourself for the rest of your life. It depends on
what you want from your life. If you're willing to avoid certain foods
for the rest of your life; if you're willing to go to a party or go to
a gathering where those foods are served and have fear come up or eat
them and then be terribly judgmental and harsh with yourself, then
okay. Some people actually choose to do that. But I get letters all the
time from people who say they've done that for six months or a year and
then they just couldn't stand it any longer.
My
basic belief about emotional eating is that it is
possible to untangle it, to get to the root of it. It is possible to
trust yourself if you begin to treat yourself with curiosity and
kindness and a willingness to understand what you're doing with food.
Most people assume that they know what they're doing, that they know
what the problem is, and what the answer is. They think the problem is
I'm out of control with food. The answer is I just have to get myself
under control. I have to have more willpower. I have to avoid certain
foods. But I don't think that's the problem, and I don't think that's
the answer.
I
think we need to start from the place of assuming
that what you're doing with food makes good sense; it's a kind of
hieroglyphic language. But if you don't know how to read the symbols,
you can't understand the words, paragraphs, stories. And I think that
the whole array of behaviors and feelings around emotional eating is
like that, and if you're not interested in learning the language, if
you're not interested in actually understanding yourself, knowing why
you're doing it, then you can't get to the root of it.
So
let's assume that if you're doing it, there must
be a good reason. It might be something that worked for you when you
first started doing it and you didn't realize you had any other choice.
For instance, if you started when you were a kid and your parents were
unhappy or depressed, or they were getting divorced, or you were being
abused in some way, or you felt abandoned, or one of your parents died,
then it might have been that food was your only option. Food was the
way you stayed alive.
If
that was a decision you made years ago, unless
you question that decision, and unless you allow yourself to feel the
feelings that are all locked up in that, then you'll believe that the
only way to deal with this is to shut off certain parts of yourself and
shut off certain foods, but that's not the approach that I use.
The Share Guide:
Okay. So what's your approach?
Geneen
Roth:
There are a couple of levels to what I do that all work together.
First, as I said before, there is the assumption that what you are
doing, you're doing for good reasons. The orientation that I follow is
that we all want to be happy, we all want to live full lives, and we
all want to know ourselves as deeply as possible. We want to live fully
before we die. And many of us feel like something is keeping us from
doing that--something's missing. We keep getting in our own way. For
emotional eaters, the decisions, the behaviors, the feelings about food
become both the obstacle to living full lives, but also the doorway,
the entry. I think what people most want to get rid of in their
lives--either their excess weight or their feelings about themselves
and
their relationship with food-can become the greatest gift. It can
become the path itself. So the wound becomes the door if we are willing
to understand it-and not by judging, not with that harsh and in some
ways violent way of treating ourselves.
Some
people say, I don't have what it takes to
really understand my relationship with food. I don't believe that. I
think that everybody can do this. I myself was just insane with food
for many years. I gained and lost over a thousand pounds! I was as
crazy as anybody I've ever met. But through realizing that what I most
wanted to get rid of was the thing that I most needed to understand and
have compassion for, it opened up for me. And if one person can do it,
anyone can.
Second,
there is the physical aspect. Not dieting is
key to my approach. Instead of dieting, get in touch with your own
hungers-when you're hungry and what you're hungry for. Be mindful about
what you eat. I have a set of eating guidelines that I use such as: eat
when you're hungry; eat what your body wants; pay attention to the
food; and stop when your body has had enough. I don't feel like you can
do something to yourself on a physical level that doesn't affect you on
every other level. So when you tell yourself you're out of control
around food, you're basically telling yourself: I'm out of control
about my hunger, about my needs, about my wants. You can't block off
and separate parts of yourself from other parts. We're all one cohesive
being.
I
also use spoken and written inquiry that fosters
curiosity and openness and a willingness to understand what you're
doing.
The Share Guide:
In the past, the ideal body was not so rail thin. Would you say that
this cultural obsession with thinness is a big part of our problem, as
most people, especially women, don't like their bodies and think they
are fat even when they're not?
Geneen
Roth:
I think that the culture in which we live, and the environment, and the
values of the culture certainly exacerbate the problem. But I think the
main problem is that we don't know how to be at peace with what comes
up for us in our lives. Out of that unwillingness to be with what
arises, we turn to something to help us take the edge off. We are used
to rejecting ourselves, and if we weren't using food then it would be
something else--alcohol, sex, drugs, overwork.
The Share Guide:
It seems like our whole culture is geared toward creating a standard
that is not really achievable and natural for most people. No one looks
like the movie stars. That's got to affect people's self-esteem--all
ages, all genders.
Geneen
Roth:
Yes, I really think it does.
The Share Guide:
You've written that feeling fat has nothing to do with being fat. What
do you mean by this?
Geneen
Roth:
I mean that "fat" is a catchall word for feeling bad about yourself,
for not having a good day, for feeling unworthy. Oftentimes, people who
are emotional eaters, specifically women, use it to describe their
internal atmosphere (how they're feeling about themselves) and it
doesn't always translate to how much they weigh.
The Share Guide:
How do you think men and women view their weight and bodies differently
from one another?
Geneen
Roth:
I think because of women's bodies being more objectified in the
culture, women tend to view themselves through a particular lens. They
look at themselves through what a friend of mine calls "bank camera
eyes." This means from the outside in, instead of sensing themselves
and seeing what feels true and good and right for them.
The Share Guide:
It seems like some diet books want us to think of food simply as fuel,
and don't recognize that it has emotional connotations--it's part of
the
social fabric of life. If we go on strict diet regimens, we're not
going to get to participate in a lot of life's pleasures like holiday
gatherings and romantic dinners. It seems like abstinence is a pretty
hard way to go. It would seem like moderation is more natural--and
accepting and loving yourself as you are.
Geneen
Roth:
Yes. That goes back to what I was saying before about being frightened
of yourself. The main point here is that you need to decide how you
want to live your life and what you value and want to prioritize. Not
everybody wants to understand why they're doing what they're doing.
Some people just want to fix it and make it go away. And for those
people, I think abstinence works fabulously well for a limited time.
But I don't see many cases in which it works forever. Just like diets
lead to binges, I think abstinence leads to breaking out of the
abstinence. It's a cycle. I don't think people can stay in abstinence
forever because food is always around. I think drugs and alcohol are
very different because you don't need them to stay alive.
Around
food it's very difficult to work on a
deprivational model because of the prevalence of food and because it's
really a part of the way that we gather together, the way we socialize
and celebrate. It really is a source of deep pleasure, and it should
be! It's a way of feeding our bodies, but it's also a way of finding
joy and sensual pleasure. So abstaining from the pleasures of food can
lead you to feeling deprived of the basic pleasures of being alive. And
again, I think it depends on what you want to do. Sometimes people go
through cycles of feeling like they've fixed their relationship with
food for a while and then it gets broken again--for example, they go on
a binge. Then they fix it by going on a strict diet and then they go on
another binge. And so you've got to decide for yourself what you value
and how you want to prioritize your time. Do you want to keep going
through these cycles or do you want to work at understanding what
you're doing? In order to do what I'm talking about, there's got to be
something more important in your life than being thin--and that is
knowing yourself, understanding yourself, and trusting yourself.
The Share Guide:
There's a story in one of your books about a young girl whose mother
was worried about her weight and you advised her to let the girl carry
around a pillowcase full of M&Ms because that was her favorite
thing.
Geneen
Roth:
The idea is that people need to let themselves have what they want
without guilt. Then food loses some of its power over them, and that's
a way to actually lose weight naturally.
The Share Guide:
That reminds me of a very old joke: If you're on too strict of a diet,
you might not live longer but it will sure feel like you have! One of
the things I got from interviewing Dr. Andrew Weil long ago was that
food is a celebration and a social part of life, so we should not deny
that. When we come together with people now, we try and have things
that are tasty and colorful as well as wholesome.
Geneen
Roth:
I agree. That sounds great.
The Share Guide:
Do some people in your workshops have specific medical issues that
cause them to be overweight, such as hormonal or metabolic problems, or
are they all dealing with behavioral issues?
Geneen
Roth:
The medical issues are not the areas of expertise that I work with.
People come to me to work on the psychological and spiritual issues of
emotional eating. That's not to say that they don't have those problems
in addition, but that's not what I focus on.
The Share Guide:
Would you say that being overweight is sometimes an excuse for people
as to why they're not happy with their lives?
Geneen
Roth:
No, I don't actually believe that. I think that people are not
suffering because they're fat, they're fat because they're suffering.
So I think the suffering needs to be addressed. Obviously, if they're
having a difficult time moving around or if it's affecting their
health, that needs to be addressed as well.
The Share Guide:
You've said that the fantasy of being thin is more powerful than
actually being thin. Is this because you'd have to acknowledge that it
doesn't solve all your problems?
Geneen
Roth:
Yes, that's right.
The Share Guide:
Do you think it's bad to think about food as a reward? I had a hard
day, so I'll have some chocolate.
Geneen
Roth:
I think categories of good and bad and right and wrong and should and
shouldn't don't help. But you have to ask yourself if that piece of
chocolate cake really does give you what you need and want. Probably it
does for those moments you're eating it, but then what happens
afterwards? Does chocolate cake really make you happy?
The Share Guide:
I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons of that.
Geneen
Roth:
Yes, and see how you feel afterwards. The changes around food that I'm
talking about take support and guidance and some kind of commitment to
understanding yourself. And that might or might not include eating
chocolate cake at the end of the day. If you are not hungry and you
turn to chocolate cake, there's usually something that could satisfy
that particular hunger better.
The Share Guide:
As we discuss all this, it would seem that meditating on who you are
and what you want to be could be very helpful in this whole process. Do
you work with meditation at all?
Geneen
Roth:
Yes I do. The core of my work now is the retreats that I do--there are
two 5-day retreats that I teach every year. Meditation is part of what
we do in the retreats, and I think what people understand through
meditating is that just because their minds are telling them they need
to go eat this or do that, that doesn't necessarily mean it's true. So
in this process you get to witness yourself and see that thoughts will
just keep flying by without you having to act on all of them.
The
other practice that I use with people is
actually learning how to inhabit and live inside your body. Most of us
hover a little bit outside of our bodies most of the time. It's hard to
tell when you're hungry and when you've had enough to eat if you're not
actually living inside your body. There's also the spoken and written
inquiry that I teach, which is a process of unraveling thoughts and
beliefs and feelings you've had, and questioning them. These things are
used in conjunction with those eating guidelines that I mentioned
earlier.
The Share Guide:
What do you think of programs like Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig?
Geneen
Roth:
I think it depends on the person. Again, I don't put value judgments on
thoughts, feelings, or programs and I think it depends on what your
objective is. If your goal is to lose ten pounds as quickly as you
possibly can, then Jenny Craig might be the very best thing for you. I
think you have to know yourself well enough to know what path and what
practice is best for you. I think everybody's metabolism is different.
Some people don't do well with high glycemic carbohydrates and some
people do fine. Some people don't do well being vegetarian and some
people do.
The Share Guide:
You've said that for people who have a problem with overeating, food is
a fabulous way in. What do you mean?
Geneen
Roth:
For people who are emotional eaters, there is such a cluster of
feelings and beliefs and thoughts about food, that if you want to
understand yourself, if you really want to travel to the core of what
you think and feel and believe, then why not use what's right here,
every day, many times a day, as the path to do it? I believe that
people eat the way that they live and live the way they eat. So all our
beliefs about being alive-about hunger, and deprivation, and abundance,
and nourishment, and joy, and pleasure-are all reflected in our
relationship with food. They're actually reflected, of course, in our
relationship to everything (in our relationship to the people we love,
in our relationship to work, etc.) but if food is your main issue, then
it's a fabulous doorway into what you believe. It's a microcosm. The
path that I'm teaching in the retreats seems to be incredibly
effective. We use food as the doorway for what we believe about being
alive, in combination with a nondeprivational, nonviolent attitude
towards ourselves with food.
For more
information from Geneen Roth visit www.geneenroth.com
Natural Weight Loss
Program recommended by The Share Guide Learn More
 MORE
HEALTH ARTICLES
 If
you liked this interview,
you'll love The Share Guide's
Holistic Health
Newsletter. Subscribe
for free!
Home  Health Directory Articles Index Interviews Index
Reviews Links About Share Guide Contact us
|
