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Judging Our Bodies


by Terry Cole-Whittaker

Why stop feeling good in order to judge your body as too fat, too thin, too young, too old, too ugly, or too wrinkled? It does not change anything for the better, and it makes us self-destruct.

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We can observe how people make themselves miserable by judging their bodies as not good enough. Others' criticisms were not my only problem. I also criticized myself. Oh, how I suffered from judging my body as not pretty enough and sexy enough to attract and keep the man I wanted. Every beautiful woman was a potential enemy, a threat to my happiness. A scenario like this pits a woman against other women, as if a man were the source of her happiness, good feelings, and survival. I thought I was my body, so my perception of it influenced how I felt and what I did.
   
Judging our bodies as not pretty enough, not good enough to receive love, protection, or the attention of another, leads to depression, especially when it appears that our plans to attract the person we believe will give us future happiness are destroyed. And if we engage in constant competition, nasty gossip, and mean-spirited activities to protect ourselves and whatever we believe is ours, this hardens our hearts and makes us mean and sharp-tongued, which makes us feel bad. As serious pleasure seekers, we like to be happy, so it goes against our purpose to fall into negative emotions because of what anyone does or does not do.
   
We can stop such unhealthy behavior by learning to keep our minds in the transcendental position, instead of constantly judging ourselves as good or bad. Such judgment keeps us in constant anxiety, in which there is no peace and no bliss, because we stop them in order to terrorize ourselves and others. Observe your thoughts and feelings about your body and the bodies of others. Notice which beliefs have been running, and perhaps ruining, your life. You cannot control someone else's mind or actions, but you can control your own mind and actions.
   
The solution to body problems, and all problems, is to learn to be happy, deep down happy, at the core of our being. Shaming ourselves because of the age, shape, color, sex, or condition of our bodies does not make us beautiful by any standard. And it does not make us happy; it can, however, make us seriously mentally ill and physically sick. Emotional distress can lead to chemical imbalances and substance dependencies, as well as to physical illnesses and aberrations in our behavior. What we need to know is how important our consciousness--what we think, believe, and feel emotionally--is for excellent health. Even a virus has no effect on the body if our immune system is strong enough and we do not give the virus power through our beliefs and thoughts.
   
In addition to keeping a positive, enthusiastic attitude, we must also avoid letting anything toxic enter the body, including by injection. I got no inoculations before any of my travels to third world countries, because I did not want to weaken my immune system with dangerous drugs. Inoculations can have all sorts of horrific side effects.
   
The power of the spiritualized mind is great, and simply by changing her attitude a person can slough off physical illness. One of the very best medicines is bliss combined with a positive mental attitude. Fear, stress, worry, grudges, and hate are more dangerous for the body than what others can do to us. All is consciousness, and this is true in every aspect of life.
   
Why stop feeling good in order to judge your body as too fat, too thin, too young, too old, too wrinkled, or too ugly? What is the value of self-torture? It does not change anything for the better, and it makes us self-destruct. A happy, smiling face that expresses affection and kindness is always the most beautiful. It's an expression of the soul radiating its brilliance and warmth.
    
Fear of future unhappiness because of what others may say about our bodies or do to us on account of our physical appearance keeps many of us from participating fully in life. Especially as the body ages, many people, even those who have been wonderful, highly successful entertainers, entrepreneurs, and humanitarians, hide away out of sight so that others will not judge their bodies. Even great souls sometimes give up under the pressure of gossip columnists and the cruel words of the envious. But while others may judge us unmercifully, what they think of us is none of our business. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are our business.
   
Realize that, over time, all bodies change in appearance, beginning at the moment of conception. Everything made of matter goes through a cycle, beginning, continuing for a while, and disintegrating. Why look into the mirror each day and cry because your body does not look like it used to, or does not look as good as someone else's? Put a cloth over the mirror and forget about what the body looks like, or learn to enjoy the effects of time on the physical body. As we age, we must recognize that our senior years are meant for helping others with our wisdom and love, not for our complaints and litanies of losses. What benefits do we get from complaining? How do complaints give us bliss?
   
Stop perceiving yourself as a physical being and instead perceive yourself as a spiritual being beyond time or matter, and express yourself through your spiritual mind. Don't listen to people who criticize your body or tell you that you're useless or unwanted--they are up to no good and are seeking pleasure from your pain.
   
God wants you and is sending unlimited amounts of love to you, but you must accept it to feel it. Be grateful that you have a body, take care of it so that it functions well, and go about your mission.

Excerpted from the book Live Your Bliss ©2009 by Terry Cole-Whittaker. Printed with permission from New World Library, www.newworldlibrary.com.

Terry Cole-Whittaker travels the world speaking to both spiritual and entrepreneurial groups. Her five bestsellers have earned her coverage in all major print, radio, and television media. She lives in Los Angeles, CA.  Visit her online at www.terrycolewhittaker.com


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Related Info:
Confessions of a Reformed Emotional Eater
Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. on emotions and your health
Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
Geneen Roth on the relationship between eating and intimacy
Marci Shimoff on being happy from the inside out
Brian Tracy on self-actualization
Lama Surya Das on spirituality and meditation


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